Part 11: Final (?) FoulBallz Predictions (51-56)


It appears the FoulBallz crystal ball is finally done showing me all the astounding things that will be happening in the world of MLB baseball. Here are the last six predictions…maybe:

51) Former Detroit Tiger starting pitcher Doug Fister and several other down-to-earth players will start their own construction company. They win the bid to build the new Brewers park.

52) Nearly everyone who writes a blog seems to be obsessed with predicting the standings (See?). Well, I am too. I’ve decided to buck the crystal ball on this one because it gave me an order I didn’t like. Here’s MY non-crystal foulballz prediction for the leagues: The AL Central will have the best teams (as usual), followed by the NL Central, then AL East, AL West, NL West, NL East. You can bank on this.

53) That $672 million stadium? Yeah. It doesn’t happen the way they plan it. Sure, there’s a new one, but it’s not $672 million. The project runs way over because instead of a new “stadium,” the Braves’ owners and management create the first ever diamond in the sky, a skyscraper with the ballpark on the roof. The 40 story building will include a five level mall, condos, and plenty of office space. It is enclosed, but the windows lower during games so homers can “get out of the park”. It is to be designed with the  open air rooftop tennis court Agassi/Federer played on in Dubai, in mind.

54) Dave Dombrowski immediately revokes the metal detectors at all 30 parks after noticing that ballparks aren’t full of fans by game time. Instead, they are still waiting outside to get in or in the concession lines before the game. Marlins are the only team that doesn’t notice a change in attendance at the start of each game.

55) MLB owners announce two new league-wide promotions. All teams will have drawings for “Manager for a Day” and “GM for a Day”. Unfortunately, the GM for a Day only means you don’t get to make any actual decisions other than what to eat for meals. The manager drawing, however, lets the fan make up the line-up and manage. Regrettably, the fan isn’t allowed to know the signs, and things go poorly when the other team hears, “LAY DOWN A BUNT TOWARD THIRD!” coming from the dugout.

56) Bartolo Colon retires and starts his own perfume company focusing on the niche market of sports fans. Bartolo Cologne is immediately successful among aging middle aged men. The tag line for Bartolo Cologne: You’ll enjoy this whiff (get it? He’s a pitcher; strike outs are whiffs.)