The 2018 MLB and MiLB seasons are here. Opening Day is just a few days away. And so, in the spirit of seasons gone by…in other words, as I do every season…I present you with 15 Foul Ballz predictions bound to be guaranteed to either happen or not happen. Ready, set, PLAY BALL!!
- Extended netting will prove to be the worst decision ever by Manfred, as the league suffers a major legal loss, of biblical proportions, due to a fan sitting behind new extended netting having their nose broken when a ball slipped through a seam.
- There will be no significant difference in the number of fans hit by foul balls this year, than any year in the past. In other words, extended netting will NOT protect more fans…AT ALL.
- The Detroit Tigers will not make the playoffs…again.
- The Tampa Bay Rays will break ground in Ybor City, but in doing so, destroy a thriving neighborhood full of cigars and rich history.
- The Houston Astros realize why the Tigers got rid of Justin Verlander’s ego…er, Verlander; despite the World Series success, they have buyers regret and try to trade him back. Nobody does and he’s left homeless, having to sell his cars and home.
- Verlander continues to ridicule fans who criticize him when he AGAIN blames the ball for his crappy performance rather than his mechanics and getting old. (Oh, btw, Justin: You’re welcome. I told you what your problem was. But hey, you’re too proud to admit it wasn’t the ball. It’s a bad craftsman who blames his tools…and becomes a tool.)
- I will continue to bash Verlander. 😊
- The Cleveland Indians, having already succumbed to pressure to be politically correct in the displaying of Chief Wahoo, again succumb to it and alter their name to the Cleveland “White Men Are Minority Killers” to better reflect the decimation of the Native American population. I recommend the Cleveland Lakers, but Los Angeles throws a fit.
- The Marlins announce they ARE going to Montreal…and the city reclaims the Expos name!
- The Connecticut, Rhode Island, New Hampshire area decide to petition MLB for an expansion team. They suggest Hartford Whalers. That sooooo doesn’t go over well. At all.
- Las Vegas officially announces an MLB team will be coming to the city. One problem: Major League Baseball considers it too big of a gamble (Who didn’t see that pun coming?)
- In order to better reflect “WORLD SERIES”, MLB finally announces plans to have a new playoff system in which the MLB champions enter a playoff system with the Japanese, Korean, European and Latin American league champions. You know, like the World Baseball Classic, but for real.
- Season ticket holders whose seats are now behind netting will revolt, forcing MLB to move their seats and issue a full refund. As a result, the seating behind the EXTRA netting loses teams money.
- Attendance will be dramatically down after this season’s ASG as the so-called “fixes” to the game continue to LENGTHEN game times and the netting adds to the time issues, adding about 2 minutes to games.
- Somewhere around The Winter Meetings, team owners will consider a motion to get rid of Manfred, as they realize that the EXTENDED netting has turned out to hurt profits, lengthened the game more AND there was no statistically significant difference in the number of fans smoked by foul balls.
So there you have it. All of these will come to fruition at some point this season and/or off-season. Mark my words. Those most likely to happen are 10, 11, and 15. BASEBALL IS BACK!