Predicting the Interesting Stories in MLB, Part 7 (31-35)

***As a lead in to this set of predictions, I’d like to point out that the FoulBallz prediction regarding Jim Leyland is looking as though it really could happen. He’s been appointed a special assistant to Dombrowski of the Detroit Tigers. Enjoy the next set of predictions:

31) A new superstition sweeps through the legions of MLB pitchers. Nearly all pitchers start wearing contacts that make their eyes two different colors in order to emulate Max Scherzer. (It could happen.)

Copyright (c) CBSSports
Copyright (c) CBSSports

 

32) Thinking they have a better reality show concept than “The Franchise” and VH1s “Baseball Wives”, a group of baseball wives pitches a show to ESPN about their charitable work, their families and general down-to-earth lives and interactions and the challenges of moving, raising kids and so on in that environment. It will be called “A League of Our Own”. (IF this actually happens, I want money for the idea!)

33) Finally addressing criticisms about calling it “The World Series”, baseball announces a quota system to ensure all teams have at least one player from each continent and have no fewer than 10 nations represented. The Cuba embargo is put back in place.

34) In yet another surprise move, MLB declares that starting in the 2016 season, in yet another cost saving move, balls must be used until one of the following happens: it’s hit into foul territory and caught by a fan, its hit as a home run, or the laces are frayed. Fans catching a foul or home run and throwing it back onto the field will be reimbursed for their seat ticket as a thank you for “saving” the league money; the reimbursement is prorated for each inning and how many balls are redeemed, based on a sliding scale. The average reimbursement ends up being 50 cents/seat/ball.

35) George Bush finally learns that the NSA is tracking all Americans by 3 degrees of separation. Afraid that trade secrets will be revealed and fearing invasion of privacy Bush orders that all computers in the Rangers’ front office be destroyed and no cell phones or other electronic devices are allowed into the stadium or offices. Productivity and creativity in the franchise increase exponentially once Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are taken out of the picture.