Predictions Part 9 (41-45): Moneyball 2, WAGs and Team Relocations

41) During 2014 Spring Training, the Oakland A’s GM Billy Beane announces that he’s taking a leave of absence to consult on Moneyball 2: Back on the Ray-dar. It is all about the statistics analysis happy front office of the Tampa Bay Rays. Rays GM Andrew Friedman will be played by Brad Pitt.

Moneyball 2? (May be subject to copyright)
Moneyball 2? (May be subject to copyright)

42) Led by Erica May (Max Scherzer’s beau) and Nicky Getz and Kim DeJesus (of “The Amazing Race” fame), the wives and girlfriends of MLB players form the WAGS Union. Most indicate that they will become the agents of their men. Scott Boras files for an injunction to stop the union, citing–among other things–loss of income and loss of earning capacity. The request is laughed at and denied. The new union begins.

43) Answering the lame, pitiful, uninspired and downright dumb comments by ignorant people who state that baseball is “gay”, inspired partly by the announcements of a number of recent athletes, MLB comes out of the closet and admits that nearly everyone playing, as well as all associated with the game (announcers, front office, concessions, fans, etc.) are, in fact, very gay….except when their teams lose. Then they aren’t so happy. (How’s that for word play, eh?)

44) (Only tangentially related to baseball, so not sure why the crystal ball showed this to me, but…) In a truly crazy turn of events, the NFL reports that it will no longer be overpaying its athletes for playing ½ a game once a week. To earn a full salary, like in the MLB, NHL and NBA, player must play both offense and defense. They leave open the option for continuing to play ½ a game at ½ pay. The league adds that they are keeping the season the same length, but in order to show they really are athletes, they are adding a 5th “quarter”, dropping from 4 to 3 downs and playing 2-3 times per week. (Seriously, they play HALF a game ONCE a week! Baseball players sometimes play for 2 weeks crisscrossing the US to play every day. )

45) Two new expansion teams are announced for the 2017 season. Fans are given the chance to vote on the location and name of the two new teams. The options given are: The Utah Holy Rollers, The Boise Bakers, The Montana Maiasuara, The Cheyenne Bison, The Mississippi Mudpuppies, The Alabama Yellowhammers. MLB adds that all current 30 teams must give up two players—one for each team—and lose their top draft picks in the draft. The Montana Maiasuara and Alabama Yellowhammers win. Their first seasons will be reminiscent of the 2013 Marlins and the 2001-2005 Detroit Tigers.